Sunday, January 2, 2011
Bring On The Moments (or Fuck it! I'm Happy.)
We can be happy this year by saying “Fuck it! I’m happy.”
I know. Not my usual sunshine and flowers. But since life decidedly isn’t just sunshine and flowers, why not? People wonder why I am so positive. Some people think I’m too happy. I recently got “So how come you can still smile?” after telling a friend about some recent developments in my life. I shrugged in response at the time, but I’ll attempt to answer the question now.
My life has many facets: I am pursuing my dreams, exploring my creativity and totally living. Life sucks balls often enough, but while the crap is happening I’m still doing me. And it’s not that I’m ignoring the difficult parts of life, the anger and tears. I give them their time too and believe me I experience them just as fully. I simply don’t see the need to dwell on them every minute of every day. When I feel the less pleasant feelings, I feel them. When I don’t feel them, I let them go. And fortunately I manage to get through a fair portion of my day not feeling the negative.
At this moment I’m happy. At this moment I’m sad. I’m not going to let the first moment tarnish the sanctity of the second or vice versa. There’s no need to temper my sadness by trying to convince myself I’m happy. There’s no need to temper my happiness by convincing myself that things aren’t great. I know things aren’t great, but you know what? Fuck that! I’m still going to allow myself to be happy! My sadness and anger had their fair allotment of time today. It’s joy’s turn to visit.
So welcome 2011! I hope you enjoy your little trek through my life. I hope to be here a lot longer than you are, so enjoy me while you can. Bring on the moments!
(Photo by Kelene Blake: Pensive, 1946 by Elizabeth Catlett, United States/Mexico, James E. Lewis Museum of Art, Morgan State University)